Living With Anxiety [Guest Post #1]

For my first guest post, I asked my friend, Madison, to write on her anxiety and her relationship with Jesus throughout her journey. I've known Madison for two years, and I've loved getting to know her and become really good friends. I honestly think that we were meant to be friends since we share a love for Maze Runner and have the same birthday :) Anyway, here is her post on living with anxiety and how God can help you through the tough times.

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Anxiety has always been a big part of my life. I've always struggled with it, even when I was little, when I didn't even know what anxiety was. It dominated a lot of who I was. It made me insecure, nervous, and doubtful.

I have what is called on anxiety-disorder. The physical chemicals in my brain are messed up and cause me to be unnaturally anxious, all the time.

When my anxiety was at its worse, and when I realized it was anxiety, was my freshman year of high school. I would sit in class, my hands sweaty, my heart beating out of my chest, and my body shaking nervously. I would feel like I couldn't breathe, or something bad was about to happen.

For some reason I was the most anxious in a particular class- geometry class. It took me a while to figure out why, but I finally did. It was because my math teacher called on random people every day to answer questions, and that terrified me. My worst fear was to speak in front of the class, to have any attention drawn to me. So I would sit there, and wait in agony for the teacher to call on me, which she rarely ever did. And when she did, my heart would stop. I eventually came to the conclusion that this was not normal and that I shouldn't be feeling this way everyday.

I was a Christian at this time and had accepted Jesus Christ as my savior a year prior. I had asked Jesus about my anxiety a while before freshman year began and if I needed medication for it. He told me not yet and that it wasn't the time.

The whole beginning of my freshman year was dominated by anxiety. It kept getting worse and worse. I would ask and beg Jesus to take it away, but nothing would ever happen. I finally talked to my mom about it. She understood me because she had anxiety too and was on medication for it. I felt it was time to ask Jesus again about my anxiety and if I needed medication. My mom and I prayed together and felt God saying that it was time to look into getting on medication. So, we made an appointment and I was interviewed by a very nice lady and I told her all about my anxiety. I was then put on medication.

I was a little hesitant because I had never been on medication before. I remember Jesus asking me to trust Him. It was very hard for me to trust Him at this time, because I had never really trusted Him before. He promised me that He would heal me. So even though it was hard, I chose to trust Him.

Through my anxiety I have grown so much closer to Jesus. I have learned to depend on Him. I learned that when I cry out to Him, He always answers. I learned that He is always by my side. I learned that He knows exactly what I'm going through and that He understands me. I learned that He is my comforter. I found peace and rest in His presence. I learned that He is so much greater than my anxiety. And most of all, I learned to trust Him.

He has healed me and has done so much more than the medication could have ever done. He has helped me overcome my anxiety. I am no longer defined by anxiety, but I have been set free and live freely in the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ!