Today's post is written by one of my counselors from YBL, Abbey. Abbey is such an amazing person I got to know through humid walks around campus and protecting a certain chair. I really hope you all like this!!
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I think culture puts a lot of emphasis on the type of woman everyone is "supposed" to be. If you turn back a couple pages of history, you can see the expectations piling up, basically since the beginning of time. Cook a delicious and healthy meal, have a spotless house, raise a perfect family, be successful at home and in the business world, look beautiful all the time, always be right, always be poised, be a perfect couple but also be a powerful and independent woman … it goes on forever, and there's no grace for mistakes. But let me tell you that I can't even make a grilled cheese, I get bad grades sometimes, my room can get messy, and I'm not Beyoncé. This definition of what a woman should be like is completely unattainable for me, and probably for anyone else. It's overwhelming to try to put ourselves into this mold. It's like trying to squeeze yourself into a star shaped cookie cutter: it's not going to work, and you'll be bent way out of shape trying. Why? Because God does not desire everyone to be the same, and he certainly made us much more complex and beautiful than a tiny cookie cutter. I think that trying to cram ourselves into a mold that isn't ours is kind of insulting to God, and definitely breaks his Father's heart. He designed us for so much more than the worldly stamp cultures want to slap on us!
I started this journey a few years ago, my senior year of high school, where I decided to seriously pursue the kind of woman that I wanted to be, the kind that would bring glory to the Father. I read many books, mostly by Robin Jones Gunn and Christine Caine which were very helpful. What I've found best is Proverbs 31. This chapter is a literal list, beautifully painted with poetic words, to describe the kind of woman that brings honor to the Lord and joy to the world.
It's funny, because once I began studying, I didn't see anything about looking perfect, or being perfect, or making something perfect. I only saw things about working diligently to provide for her family, her community, and even herself. I saw things of having a pure and faithful heart, and not being fearful. Nothing was parallel to the world standards of what a woman should be. The kind of woman I saw between the pages of the Bible was 100x more the kind of woman I want to be. It's also attainable! Attainability does not equal perfection, but it is a word of faithful chance.
So, now? I still face pressure of the standards of our world. It's rather unavoidable. But I do not feel nearly as much pressure to BECOME those standards; my God is much too big, and his plans are much too great.