No matter who you are, chances are that there are memories you try to suppress as deep as possible and forget forever. Now, there are some things we are bound to forget, but there are others that we can't and that we shouldn't. I've experienced this more than once, especially when I've done something especially embarrassing or had a sad experience. Two years ago all I wanted was to forget everything about California and create a new life in Kentucky.
It didn't take me long to realize that it was impossible to forget California, and trying to forget it didn't help make anything better. I was miserable and not letting myself or trying to make connections outside of my house despite the boredom. There was so much poopiness in the situation and I didn't try to make it better, thinking moving across the country not capable of being something good. I eventually forced myself to remember everything good. There was no way I would be happy in my new town if I couldn't still reminisce on the four years that gave me great joy.
Don't force yourself to forget things. Don't try and make life 'easier' by throwing away what brings you joy, because you just get more and more miserable without the simple things you can use to cheer you up. Thinking of your long-distance friend's smile when you want to cry can probably add to the tears if you haven't seen them in a long time and miss them a lot, but it can also cause happy memories to flood your mind and make things a little better. Use those memories in tough times to remind you of good times you've experienced. Yes, you will probably be sad thinking of things you don't have anymore, but chances are there will be so much regret if you let go of what's past and can't remember moments you swore you would never forget when all seemed okay. Another thing is that these memories can help you figure out what is going on. You learn from your previous encounters and you grow from them too. There is so much importance in remembering what has happened in your life that you need to remember.
When figuring out what to write this week, I had the lyrics to a song from the musical "Next to Normal" stuck in my head. If you don't know, "Next to Normal" is a musical about a family where the mother, Diana, has been "bipolar with delusional episodes" (Who's Crazy/My Psychopharmacologist and I) after her first-born son died of intestinal dysfunctions when he was 18 months (off-Broadway)/8 months (Broadway production) and how her husband, Dan, and daughter, Natalie, deal with it when the problem of her interacting with her son is at its peak. In Act 2, Diana has lost 19 years of her memory and Dan and Natalie are helping her remember her life. One song in particular, "Sing a Song of Forgetting" talks about getting her memories back and it made me realize that remembering is really important. So sing that song, and remember what means so much to you, and use that because memories really don't die.